Death

Such a morbid subject, but a topic that people face as they get older. Who are we… why are we here? What happens after we die?

A friend of my parents and brother recently killed himself. Why? Only he knows the truth and yet he leaves behind grief and disparity.

I had a friend kill himself when I was 18. He hung himself. He left a note that stated he felt he had no true friends. I think that hurt me more than anything: if he had only disclosed his true feelings – what more could I have done? It has been almost 17 years and I still think of him often. I have had a cousin and an uncle take their own lives and for what?

I’m still here because of the medication I’m on. I can now see the pattern of depression in these people. Being SO sad that you just want to die. 5 years ago I couldn’t even comprehend this thought. Today I look back at how close I was to ending my own life because “everyone would be better without me”. Those of you that have never suffered from depression… it must be a strange concept. But this is what goes through the minds of people that have a broken brain. My WONDERFUL Dr. once told me that if you break your arm you go in and get it fixed. When I was scared and contemplating medication I had never thought of my brain in that matter. Now here I am… 2 years later…. Medicated with a FIXED brain! What a concept. I know that I may be on PAXIL (reg. trademark http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/fc122.htm ) for the rest of my life, but I also realize that I would not have much of a life… if any… without it!

Those of you that want to get better and want to chat to someone that has survived depression…. E me at dot_216@yahoo.ca … Death is not the answer nor does it ‘fix’ anything in other’s lives. Your friends and family live on…… without you…. With the pain and regret that only you could have solved…..